My Life As I Know It
by Mylove4uisTrue
Summary: Will Bella make it through her life, already it has been upside down, but can she handle everything else? The sex, lies, men, and friends, what could happen? Read and see how she handles her life. AH alittle of everyone Lemons eventually!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Twilight; all rights belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

Chapter Summary:

This is my life, believe it or not, three years ago I moved to this little town of Forks, Washington to live my dad. I left the world I knew and came to a place that I knew I hated, and still to this day, I am not certain I like it here, but the only thing I have now is my best friend Alice.

My Taunting Past is Uncovered

Bella POV

Dear Journal,

It's been a long time since I had to write down my thoughts but my doctor said it would help if I rewrite some of the past to help me move forward to the future.

For the past two years I have dated a guy, his name is Jacob Black, I thought he was everything I wanted in a man, well for only being fourteen when I meet him, what did I know then? He was one year older than me. He was the person I thought I loved and a person I thought who would always be there for me when I needed him, turns out I was wrong. He was nobody, worse than that; he was useless in every aspect of a human being.

I should have listened to my friends, especially Rosalie, she had been my best friend my entire life, not only because she is my cousin, but she truly is my best friend. We were only two months apart. She moved away from me when we were ten years old, but I will never go without telling her everything going on in my life. She warned me about Jacob, that he was just like every other male with an ego to uphold, and of course I didn't listen then but I have learned from my mistakes.

My dearest friend, Alice, another best friend of mine, has been friends with me since the day we started school in kindergarten. She was ready to give up on me, since I wasn't listening to her about anything she warned me about anyways. She evidently knew Jacob, not personally but through a few other friends of ours in school. I didn't believe any of the lies she tried to teach me of him, I wouldn't listen to them. Jacob was perfect, he went to another school, and I thought he was cool considering he was in a grade ahead of me. What did I know then?

As I am writing this my tears are developing in the corner of my eyes, not because I am sad, but because I know what happened and I can never change that. Thankfully Rosalie and Alice could see through him for the past two years while I dealt with him, and still they had hope, hope I couldn't see until now. I should have never put them aside from me, I needed them in life.

When I was only fourteen years old, I was still a virgin; no one I knew was having sex at the time, so I didn't feel left out, until I meet Jacob, my life changed. I was bored one night while my dad was working late at the police station, so I hopped onto the internet, looking for other people my age in Forks. Not like the town was big or anything, there had to be somebody else with the internet around here. I was chatting with Alice on the phone when a little message popped up in the corner of my screen, which that was the first time I talked to Jacob Black; it was his sixteenth birthday the next day, and that is where it began. I talked to him for three hours that night through our instant messages.

He only lived about 3 miles from my house, neither of us could drive yet, so my dad would drop me off and his mom would bring me home. I always sensed his mom never liked me, but his sister Leigh did. She was a little sister I never had. But there was always something off about his brother Seth, he always looked at me strange, but only now do I understand why.

We had dated for three months, every day of the month that was our anniversary he would buy be a rose, a rose for each month we were together. I loved it, I loved the attention he was giving me and I loved the fact I had someone else to spend time with other than being home alone.

After four months, Jacob pressured me enough to have sex with him, it was my first time, and I thought it was his also, again, I was wrong. I didn't feel normal after that, things changed, he was always pulling me into bedroom with him, after a year of pleasing him and giving him what he wanted. I asked him if we could go somewhere, somewhere else, maybe to one of his school dances. He always had excuses for his dances, but he went to mine with me in my freshman and sophomore year.

Last month, was our one year, eleven month anniversary, when we went for a walk in the park, we needed have a talk. I needed to let him know what was going through my mind, I wasn't happy anymore. After telling him I wasn't happy, I added to the topic at hand and told him I knew he was cheating on me. I wanted to know how long for, when he decided to pull out the puppy dog face and look into my eyes, asking me to forgive him. I couldn't do it; I wasn't going to do it.

This is my life and I need to be in control of it, I wanted to be my own person for a while, and not be with someone that was going to treat me the way he does. Finally he admitted he wasn't a virgin to me the day he took mine away; he also added that he had more than six other girlfriends while he had dated me. I only now know, to never date another guy from a different school. I also found out this is why Seth never liked me, he was routing for the other girls he had brought home for them to meet. I couldn't help but think of why Leigh never told me about them, still even now I wonder why she didn't give me some kind of clue.

That was the day we broke up. When he showed up at my door, my dad still liked him, so I felt I had been pushed aside from my dad's thoughts when I left Jacob. He still knew how to butter up my dad when I wasn't around, I tried telling my dad what happened, but how do you tell your father that you lost your virginity to a man like that? I would be the grounded for it, of course my dad was a cop, but it wouldn't even matter at this point. What could I do, press charges for something I wanted just as much as him at that one moment.

I walked down the hill to my house from where Alice dropped me off; Jacob was standing next to his VW rabbit, with his arms crossed in front of him in my driveway with a smile on his face. A smile which I could kindly remove for him.

"What do you want," I asked him with an attitude, all I wanted was to be left alone. I was finally regaining my trust back from Alice, I couldn't let him ruin that again, plus he isn't worth it. It has already been two years that I didn't even celebrate her birthday with her because they shared the same birthday, I wanted to make everything up to her, all the time we missed out with each other.

"I want you back Bella," he said to me while he grabbed a hold of my arm, I shot back a glare at him.

"You will never touch me again," I yanked my arm from him, "I do not want anything to do with you again," I opened my door to walk into the house, "ever." I said as I slammed the door shut in his face.

I keep my back on the door, hoping I would hear his car start and then he would leave. Of course my dad wasn't home right now when I needed him to be. I waited fifteen minutes before I heard a knock on the back door. I rushed up the steps and there he was, outside of the sliding glass door in my kitchen, with a sad look on his face. "Go away," I said to him while I pulled the curtains closed in front of him.

Then the phone rang, I dreaded picking it up, I knew who it was, "Bella please, just listen to me okay?" He asked me.

"What do you want? Didn't I make it clear when I didn't want to speak to you ever again?" I yelled at him through the phone, guaranteeing he could hear my voice just through the doors.

"Bella, please, I am going to leave a letter out here, just read it, you can call me when you are done reading it if you want too," he paused, I could still hear him breathing, almost sounding like he was crying into the other end, "for me Bella, it is all I ask of you, just read the letter."

"Fine, leave it and go." I said to him while I hung up the phone. A few seconds later I heard footsteps going down the back deck, I began to breathe easily again. I slid open the back door and grabbed the letter, and I laid it on the table.

I looked at for a while, I remember thinking whether I wanted to read it or not, I couldn't help but wonder what was so important that I needed to read it. Deep down, I knew I wanted to read it, a part of me loved him for so long, and a small part of me always will. I picked up the letter and walked towards my room, when I heard something hit the ground. When I looked down I saw a small ring, with a small diamond on it, "Oh god," I could've felt my heart jump out of me chest at that moment.

I fell down to the floor, unfolding the letter from the little square it had been in, and I could feel myself getting dizzy as I read further into the letter.

_Dear Bella, _

_I wish you would talk to me, I wish that we could be together again, if only you would give me one more chance. This is painful for me, I can't sleep, and I can't eat, please Bella. I love you Bella, I always have. Please, you must remember those other girls, meant nothing to me compared to you. You are my life Bella, I want you, forever, and I will keep trying until you realize we are meant to be together._

_I have included a ring in here, not to ask you to marry me now, but to ask you to try, once more, for us, let me prove this to you. Someday I want you to be my wife, and someday I want to have kids with you. Please Bella, just think about it. _

_Remember I love you,_

_Jacob Black_

I felt the tears run down my face after I read that letter, doesn't he know that this causing me more pain than him. I wanted him, I loved him, and at least I thought that I did. I am hoping that things will be different, I want things to look up from here, and that can happen, as long as I do not fall back into his trap again. I refuse to let him walk all over me and get away with it again, he took a part of my life from me that I can never get back from him, I wanted to search for someone that completed me, not stole things from me.

After I called him back, and heard him cry to me, I hung up on him. I sent the ring and the letter back to him, telling him to please stay away from me or I would consider a restraining order. I didn't want him anymore, I didn't know if I was doing the right thing.

This is the beginning of my fresh start, and this part of my life, I am writing on my own, I am not letting a man write it for me, at least as far as I know. Tomorrow is another day, and it will be a good day, because Jacob will no longer be in it. My world will not revolve around him any longer, hopefully he would accept that.

In addition too tomorrow is the beginning of my junior year, Alice and I are close as ever, I would have to remember to plan something special for her birthday coming up in one month. My other dear friend Rosalie is still there, we're not as close we used to be, but one day that will change, I promise, my life will get better. Rosalie may live far, but she will be close one day.

I hope this works,

_Isabella Swan_

**A/N: **So this chapter is to fill you in on Bella's past two years of her life, and so, that way I can move on with her life after this. I hope you enjoy, this is a test run to see if anyone likes it so far….So how do you like it? Do you think this is a good beginning? Let me know… please… let me know anything… and I will make it worth your while : )

**A/N #2:** Okay, yes this is the second time I posted this chapter, but for one some things in here are different, I hope you catch them, I need to specify a few things I forgot to.. So yes I hope you like it.. I shall have another chapter up soon… Thank You for taking the time to read.. now go review! : P


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Twilight; all rights belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

Junior Year Here We Go

'_Thank God, I don't have anything holding me back this year,'_ I couldn't help but think as I got ready for school. I have no boyfriend, of course I shouldn't be proud of that fact, but honestly, who needs a man to make you happy? I have Alice, she should be here to pick me up any minute, and luckily I could avoid riding the bus this year. Alice and I talked until late last night; I told her everything that Jacob said to me, and what he wanted from me. She laughed at the idea of him wanting me back; but there was a part of me that maybe thought I wanted him still. I keep convincing myself he wasn't worth it anymore. I was sick of trying.

After getting my hair just right, I quickly applied some make up, I didn't need to use too much considering I already had a good complexion. I grabbed my backpack, which at this moment only held a few pens and pencils along with some notebooks. I dreaded that soon I would be getting a full pack of books, I didn't love school.

My dad had already left for work already, so I grabbed a bagel and rushed out the door, fearing I was running late. Alice was in the drive way waiting for me when I opened the door, I rushed towards the car and hopped in. "Hey, sorry I am running a little late," I said to her while I threw my backpack into the backseat.

"It's alright, we aren't late," she said to me while she cranked up the radio and slipped the car into reverse. I only lived about ten minutes from school, "So any more news from Jacob since last night?" She asked me while paying attention to the road ahead of us.

"I had a few text messages from him," I said while I pulled out my cell phone, "I never even read them, hoping maybe they would just disappear." I didn't want to read the messages from him; I didn't want him on my mind for the first day of school.

"Don't you think you should read them Bella?" She asked me while giving me a light smile.

"No," I said back at her, with a smug expression, "I don't want to talk to him in any form or way," I scolded at her.

"Bella, what if it is important?" She was asking, but more like pleading me to read them.

"Important?" I said to her with a light laugh, "if it was important then he would have called, whatever it is, I am sure it is nothing." I said while I leaned over the seat and threw my cell phone back into the front pouch of my backpack.

"Okay, whatever you say," she said with a smile on her face, "different subject please."

We pulled into the students' parking lot, and I looked around, not that I would see anyone that would want to see me. "So any males in this school catch your eye yet, Alice?" I asked giving my eyebrows a light wiggle I knew I was teasing her now. I knew her to well; she has had a crush on this Jasper kid for about three years now. He was in one grade above us, must be something about older men, that is something we have in common now.

"Same one as before, Bella, you already knew that," she said to me while tightening the strap on her off the shoulder back pack.

"Oh," I grabbed mine and put it over my back, "and I thought you would have forgotten about him by now."

"Nope, and I don't plan on it any time soon," she said while searching the parking lot. He was a senior now; he wouldn't want a girl a year younger than him. At least that is what I think, but for Alice I hope it works out for her, she deserves her happy ending.

We walked up to the school, talking about our class schedules; we were going to have three classes together, thank god. We reached the commons of the high school and that is when I saw him out of the corner of my eye, I had no idea who he was, I nudged Alice in her side.

"Alice," I said to her while I pulled her around to face where I was looking, "who is that?"

"I am not sure his name, but I have seen him before," she focused in on his face a little closer, "I have seen him with Jasper," she said. So, maybe this could be a different year.

He caught me staring at him and I quickly pushed Alice into the door, we began walking down the hallway towards our homerooms. I had to go upstairs to get to mine, "I will catch you later, we have the same lunch, so I will meet you the main cafeteria."

She nodded her head as she went out of my sight; my homeroom was on the other side of the building from where I was right now. I glanced up at the clock that was in the stairwell, I had five minutes before I was going to be late. I picked up my pace taking two steps at a time, hoping I wouldn't fall.

After a few minutes I walked into my homeroom, I knew my teacher as soon as I saw her, her name was Mrs. Meyer; I had her last year for a class. I looked up to see if there was anyone else I knew in here, when I spotted Katie in the back. I wasn't good friends with her, but she would due. I took the seat next to her. The room wasn't filled yet, so I took out a paper and my pen.

I began to doodle pictures on my tablet when Mrs. Meyer cleared her voice to get our attention, as soon as I looked up that is when I saw him take his seat. I forgot that this year they were mixing our homerooms with different grades, freshman were going to share with sophomores, and juniors and seniors were going to share rooms.

I had to control myself; my breathing had completely stopped when he walked into the room. He took the third seat in front of me as I could feel my face beginning to flush when I caught him staring back at me. "Damn," I whispered to myself as I looked back down at my paper in front of me. I quickly looked around to make sure know one else could have heard me, so far so good.

Homeroom wasn't that long today, luckily it was a Monday. I remember from last year that on Tuesday's and Thursday's we have a longer homeroom for certain people in activities. The bell rang and I took my time getting to the front of the room, I didn't want him to have thought I was stalking him. He was already out of the room and down the hall, I knew where my next class was, it was downstairs with Alice.

The rest of the day was a drag, I thought I would have had the same lunch with him, but from what I saw, I couldn't spot him. Alice was excited the whole day; Jasper was in her homeroom with her. I thought she was going to pass out, that is how excited she was talking to me during first period. She continued you like that through most of the day, all three periods and lunch.

I meet Alice outside of the commons to walk to her car, as soon as I made it to the door I spotted this guy again. The same guy from my homeroom, the same guy that caught my attention this morning, he had his legs propped up sitting on the railings with some other guys. I noticed Jasper was right next to him, I wanted to know this guy's name before I would go insane, but knowing me, I wouldn't get the courage to talk to anyone about him.

Just then Alice came out of the door and stopped in mid tracks, "so this is him right?" She asked me quietly, eyeing him up like a piece of eye candy.

"Yeah," I said as his eyes meet mine, I pulled on her hand fearing he would sense we were staring at him, "come on let's get out here." I yanked her along side of me to the path that led us down to where the car was parked.

There were a lot of kids that had to walk this path, we had to park downhill if we wanted to drive to school, I hope someday I would have a car of my own to drive here. Alice didn't mind though but I felt like it would get tiring driving across town to pick me up in the morning and dropping me off in the afternoon.

The next few days were boring, nothing new came of it, Alice still didn't speak to Jasper and I still didn't find out the mystery guy's name yet. I would have thought Mrs. Meyer would have said his name aloud already, but still there was nothing. I was glad it was already the weekend, only three more weeks until Alice's birthday. I would have to finish the final details on her birthday present.

Alice went away this weekend with her parents, and I was left all alone. My father, Charlie, would be working late again tonight, and tomorrow he was to go off fishing with some of his old buddies. I didn't mind being alone though; it gave me some time to think.

I haven't heard from Jacob since he had left me those text messages at the beginning of the week, they were about him missing me. It was going to be a good start over, I could tell, he probably already found a new piece of fresh meat to start on again. I couldn't help the light laugh that came out of my mouth, as long as the new meat wasn't me, that was fine.

After I made a light salad for dinner I sat down at my computer and logged into AOL, I hadn't checked my mail in a while. This is one way Rosalie and I have been keeping close contact but since school started for both of us there isn't anytime in the day for calls, so we keep in touch through emails.

Five emails later and deleting a lot of spam, I continued on searching the news of today, there was a lot going on in the media, some rock singer died recently. It was sad if you thought about it, as soon as I found an article that looked entertaining a little box popped up on my screen. I could feel my insides twitch, I haven't instant messaged anyone since Jacob, but this wasn't his screen name.

I typed in, a/s/l, why not give a chance to see who it was, when I got the message back, m/17/forks, WA, well I must know him then, and we were only a year apart. I asked him his name, he said Edward, and I gave him mine. We confirmed that we didn't know each other. I new I have never known an Edward besides maybe a great grandfather, which I am sure he is not him.

We talked about different things for four hours on the internet before he asked if I had a cell phone, I didn't want to give that number out on here, for all I knew he was a psycho. He had told me he was from my school though, which was odd that I have never heard of him. He did mention that he had only moved here at the beginning of last year, and last year I had no room in my life for anyone from this school. I also didn't pay any attention to new comers; I stayed with my own click.

Finally he got my cell phone number out of me, but I told him to kindly take a break on texting me so much. I looked up at the clock; it was already two a.m. luckily I didn't have anything to do tomorrow. I wrote to him that I needed to get to bed, that started a new topic; I couldn't help the laugh come out when he asked if I really had to leave him.

I said yes and hit the sign out icon, _'Gosh I need to get a life,'_ I had nothing to do but sit in front of this computer all night chatting with a stranger. Well I meet a new friend, sort of; I still wasn't ready to meet him. I had only just started to talk to him, and plus I had no idea if he was real or just a person playing the part. Sick people are living out there and I am sure with my luck I will find one.

I shut down the computer and decided to hop into the shower, releasing any tension from my body, hoping it would give me a nice night of sleep. After wrapping myself in my towel I walked down the steps to find Charlie asleep on the couch. He must have come in sometime and I didn't hear him. I quietly reached for the blanket on the back of the couch and covered him up. "Good night, dad," I said to him as I began to walk back up the steps.

I slipped into my cool bed; I loved this feeling of cool fresh sheets comforting me. As I lay down I pulled a pillow into my arms, these are the times when I missed Jacob. I missed him calling me and always checking on me. He was good about that, just as I snuggled more into my pillow to get comfortable I heard my cell phone vibrate from my night stand.

"Who could be texting me this late at night," I whispered to myself as I reached for my phone. As soon as I flipped it open it came up saying I had four new messages, "wow," I said. Someone is desperate, I flicked through the menu and opened them up, the first one said, "Hey Bella, this is Edward," my insides began turning about again. I didn't think he would use my number this quickly. I programmed his number into my phone before I clicked into the next three messages, the second one saying, "Are you around?" I had a smile on my face, if I hadn't responded I must have not been around. The third one was simple, "I guess not," and I clicked into the last one, "well I just wanted to say thank you for listening to me, things are hard and I needed a friend, thank you Bella."

He was thanking me for listening to his problems? Everyone has problems; he had just broken up with his girlfriend of two years, someone he was very close to. But she cheated on him, she sleep with one of his good friends, but when he had confronted him about the subject his friend had only said "I did you a favor," what kind of friend would that be, I have no idea. He didn't know we had something in common, that I just broke up with my guy of almost two years. Edward didn't need to know that much information about me right now, again we only just meet.

I clicked into to reply to his last message, I tried toying with ideas in my head but all I could come up with was "Your Welcome," so I typed in the words. I put my name at the end of it, as soon as I hit the send button my phone began to vibrate again. "Damn it, stop," I said aloud. He was too quick.

"I am sorry if I am bothering you, have a good night and sweet dreams Bella," my mouth dropped open. A man that apologizes to me, I think Jacob had only done that maybe a handful of times in the almost two years we dated. I couldn't keep the smile off of my face, now I was intrigued; not only about him, but now I wanted to put a picture with the man I was beginning to know.

I hit the reply button again, "you have a good nite also, ttyl," I was getting beyond tired, I put the phone back on my stand and pulled the blankets back over me. This time I was not getting out, if he were to write me back, I would leave it for tomorrow, something for me to look forward to in the morning. I closed my eyes and sleep came over me, this was the first night I dreamt of Edward, with a body I made picture perfect in my opinion.

I sat up on my bed and looked over at the clock, already eleven a.m. I guess that doesn't surprise me. I grabbed my phone of the stand before I crawled out of my bed; I pushed the side button to tell me if there were any new messages, yes, there are two. I could wait to read them; I rushed across the hall and went into the bathroom. I saw a letter taped to the wall of the door, "Bella, went out for the day, be safe, I will see you at dinner," it was signed love, dad.

An hour of rushing around making myself look decent enough to leave the house to go do a little shopping, I picked up my phone and read the first message, "nite beautiful," he said to me. How would he know what I looked like? The second one read, "Good morning Bella, I hope you have a good day," I would now. I began to type him a reply when I heard a knock on the door. Who could be here?

I opened the door lightly, it was just enough for me to see who it was, of course it was Jacob. I pushed the door back shut, "go away, now," I yelled at him while locking the door. I didn't even want to give him a chance to talk to me, not today. I walked up the steps, I guess I could stay home today instead of going out.

"Bella, we need to talk," I heard Jacob say through the front door, I pretended I couldn't hear him and walked up to my bedroom. I didn't want to see him today, not after my perfect dream of someone else that wasn't him. This is someone that could be different, someone that I might want and more important he could want me in the same way.

"I am not going to tell you again," I said through my opened window, "go away."

"I am not leaving until we talk Bella," damn him. I just wanted to be left alone, and that wasn't possible. I thought since we almost went a week without any form of communicating, he would figure out that I didn't care about him anymore. Especially in the way he wanted.

"Your going to be out there for a while then might as well get yourself comfy until my dad gets home," I said to him with a smile on my face. Jacob wouldn't sit out there for that long, it would be another five hours before he came home. But I think he is going to try and prove me wrong.

"Then so be it Bella, I am not going anywhere," he sat on the hood of his car. I stomped away from the window.

"Why can't he leave me the hell alone?" I muttered to myself quietly. I ran down the steps and swung open the front door, I was pissed. "What the hell is so important you can't leave?" I yelled at him right in his face. I didn't care if my neighbors could see us or hear us now.

He slid his body down off the hood of his car, "I want to be with you Bella," he said to me, I looked up into his eyes.

"What we had will never be there again Jacob, ever," I said to him trying to avoid eye contact, I didn't want to see him hurt. "I don't want you anymore," I whispered to him.

He took a step closer to me, "you do not mean that Bella," he tried to put his arms around me just as quickly as I stepped back from him, "we are meant to be together."

"It's over Jacob," I said to him as I took another step back. "Leave it all behind us, and please move on with your life," I said looking directly into his eyes. These are the same eyes that I used to love looking into; I remember I used to try to find myself within them. I took another step back, "Leave it Jacob, please," I whispered to him, hoping this time it would register in his mind.

"I am not going to give up on us Bella," he took a step forward, I put my hand up. I didn't want him to come any closer, "Bella, you know you love me," he whispered trying to get me to come to him.

"A part of me will always love you Jacob, it is a part I can never change, but it is a place in my heart that you betrayed," I took a few more steps back, I knew this was going to hurt him but at this point I just wanted him to leave me, "the part where you took my virginity only as a prize to add to your collection."

He launched himself at me in the same time I spun around and made it to the door just in time, he couldn't reach me. I caught my breath as he began to hit the door with his hands, "Is that what you think of me Bella," I could hear the tears in his voice, "you think that was the only thing I cared about?" He began to slow the beats down on the door, "I loved you Bella," he said as he broke down to sobs.

I couldn't help the tears forming in my tear ducts, "I need you to move on Jacob," I said to him through the door.

"Why are you crying if this is what you want?" I knew he could tell I was crying, he always could tell when I was.

"It is what I want Jacob, I just don't want you to be like this," I let my body fall to the ground beside the door. It was the only thing holding me up as I reached my arms around my legs cradling myself. The tears began flowing at a consistent speed, "why do you have to do this?"

I heard him put his body against the opposite side of the door from me, I could hear him still sniffling, "because I do not want to let you go," he took in a deep breath, "not now, not ever Bella."

I let out another batch of cries, why me? "You will have this again someday," I lightly coughed clearing my throat, trying to get in fresh oxygen, "just not with me Jacob." I tightened the grip I had on my legs, hoping to take away some of the pain that was forming in my heart.

"If this is what you want Bella, I will leave, I will leave forever," he whispered so softly I could barely hear him. "I can take myself out of the picture permanently for you, if that is what you want me to do," I pulled myself up from the landing I was sitting on and flew open the door.

He didn't move quickly enough his back went flying onto the landing where I was just sitting, "What the hell are you saying Jacob?" I grabbed a hold of his hair, now he was crossing a line. He was threatening to kill himself because I didn't want him anymore. "You are pathetic," I said while I let go of him.

"I need you Bella," he tried to plead me again, his face matched mine, tear stricken, "I need you in my life," as he tried to capture my eyes with his and reaching his hands to mine.

I looked down to the ground while he was now standing right in front of me, "I need you to leave Jacob," I looked up into his eyes again, "I need you to not do this, not now, and you cannot sit here and threaten your life for me," I turned my face into a glare pointing right at him.

"I will Bella, you know me," he said. Just because I have heard him use this excuse before, he threatened to kill himself because his parents were going to ground him away from seeing me for a month, which was after they found out we were having sex.

"That was a year ago, and plus, it isn't like I am not going to be here anymore Jacob," I finally was breaking down to him, I did want to be friends if it could even happen, "I will still be your friend, if you want," I whispered to him.

"I do not want you as a friend," he screeched back at me, he began corning me against the wall, "I want you as you were to me two weeks ago, you are my woman, no one else's," he tried to put his arms around me again. I shoved him backwards out the door and closed it again.

"I do not have time for your games Jacob, good bye," I yelled at him through the door. I ran up the steps into my room and closed the door. I flipped on my computer screen, I still hadn't noticed his car leave, but at this point I do not care. He can sit out there and rot for all I care anymore. I glance at the clock and it was already three in the afternoon, good only three more hours and Charlie would be home. As soon as I opened the AOL up came the little box again, a new message, "is everything okay?" Edward was on, how would he know if there was something wrong?

I began to panic, how do I respond to this? "Yeah everything is fine here, just a little busy today, everything okay with you?"

I waited for his reply, "yeah I am fine, but why didn't you answer my text messages then?"

Oh so this was what this was all about, I pulled out my phone that I had tucked away in my pocket. I didn't know if Jacob was going to see it or not, and better not let him know I was chatting with someone this soon. All four of the messages in the phone were, "you busy today?" and "you okay?"

"Just a few complications today, don't worry," I sent him as an instant message, letting him know I finally checked my inbox. It was kind of him to ask, I doubt Jacob would have ever cared if there was a day I didn't return his texts.

**A/N: ** Okay, another chapter, longer might I say, but I shall try and have something new for you again soon! I hope you enjoyed it, I promise it will pick up soon! But every story needs to be built up! Review if you can, please.


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